This Is Still 'Merica, Man!
Summer – Wk 7: Sturgis Rally 81 (or is it 80?) | Mark Zuckerberg's First Church of the Metaverse | Amazon Delivers Technocracy | Mt. Rushmore is Rad
Sturgis Rally 81 (or is it 80?)
Yesterday I wandered around Sturgis watching bikes roar past. The soundtrack was like a classic rock station coming out of a DeWalt boombox on a construction site. The best was an AC/DC cover band whose stocky frontman and lanky schoolboy guitarist were the spitting images of Brian Johnson and Angus Young. The crowd rippled with the most energetic white people boogie you’ve ever seen.
The sense of brotherhood is intense. At my hotel in a nearby town, I met people from Michigan, Colorado, Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, North Carolina, Missouri, and two rich guys from California wearing American flag regalia. They’re all pissed about the current regime change—weary under the weight of its oppressive Iron Rainbow—but they’re happy to be around like minds here in South Dakota.
Me too, to be honest.
The median age of the crusty crowd was somewhere between a first pacemaker and retirement. That’s not to say that that young people aren’t attracted to biker culture or that the tradition isn’t being passed down. It definitely is. But the question is whether there will be enough survivors in 20 years to sustain this annual neopagan orgy.
Gobbling over-priced street tacos, I noticed that the formerly independent vendors have largely been replaced by Hot Leather corporate tents. As I counted gray mullets, a 7’ tall 77 year-old Native American wearing blue denim and a wry grin ambled down the sidewalk with a red camera dangling from his neck. He looked happy, but hardly ecstatic. His expression said, “It could be worse—and it may get worse before too long.”
There were tons of T-shirts on sale that read “BUCK FIDEN” and “CANCEL CANCEL CULTURE” and “Communists Have No Class!” One had a stick-man throwing a PPE mask away with the caption “Go Fauci Yourself!” There were a dozen stalls selling engraved switchblades and a couple of 20 lbs war hammers and more dead cow skin than you could shake a prosthetic dick at.
There were floppy prosthetic dicks on sale, too, which will jump to attention at the press of a button. Not kidding.
One out-of-the-way stall had a ballcap with a swastika on the front. If you flip the bill up, it says “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!”
That slogan sums up the attitude out here, including the handful of black, Latino, and Injun bikers ripping into the desolate void.
There were skull-covered do-rags and discount tattoos. There were draft beers in plastic cups and stacks of vest patches. There were die-cut rings in the shape of Thor hammers and iron crosses and scorpions. There were even two plaster statues of the Whore of Babylon riding a Scarlet Beast and the other blasphemous Beast which shall emerge from the sea to give us all smartphones.
The very first Sturgis biker rally was held here in South Dakota in August of 1938. The event was founded by “Pappy” Hoel, a member of the Jackpine Gypsies. The rally featured motorcycle stunts, hill climbs, and speed races. God knows how many limbs got lost and tossed to the wayside as the fun unfolded.
This year marks the 81st rally, sort of. This occasion is important to the Hell’s Angels, on a numerological level, because H=8 and A=1. The thing is, this isn’t technically the 81st rally. The event skipped a year during WWII, but after that, the bikers got tired of doing the math and so they synchronized the rally number to the date, so that 1995 was Sturgis 65 and 2015 was 75, and so on. 2015 was the biggest year ever, with something like 739,000 attendees. So really, this is number 80.
But who cares?
The energy is enormous after the Covidian lull last year. These motherfuckers aren’t about to have their good time spoiled by any Delta variant or Rainbow babies or 24/7 commie propaganda. If they’re willing to get splattered on the highway for their tradition, they’re willing to cough up a mountain of lung dumplins if that’s what it takes to party in Sturgis. Hell, I’m not sure many of them believe germs even exist.
What I’m saying is these guys are brimming with down home ‘Merican vitality, and I’d take any one of these burping bikers over a thousand masked Karens. This leather-clad tribe is all about fun and freedom. Most of them worked their entire lives to come out here to the Black Hills and blow off some steam.
So fuck your feelings, Karen. Fuck ‘em with a rubber dick, if that’s what it takes. This is still ‘Merica, motherfuckers! For now…
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Mark Zuckerberg's First Church of the Metaverse
Latest article: “Mark Zuckerberg Is Planting The First Church Of The Metaverse” — in The Federalist
Virtual idols are the future of false religion. With 3 billion users and zero sense of sacred boundaries, Facebook is poised to lead this revolution.
The Church of Facebook is set to capture the human soul in silicon. On July 25, the New York Times reported that since 2017 the social media giant has quietly cultivated exclusive partnerships with select religious communities. As always, money is involved.
While Facebook’s ultimate goals remain sealed behind non-disclosure agreements, the Times article does hint at things to come: “The company aims to become the virtual home for religious community, and wants churches, mosques, synagogues and others to embed their religious life into its platform, from hosting worship services and socializing more casually to soliciting money.”
“The partnerships reveal how Big Tech and religion are converging,” the Times continues. “Facebook is shaping the future of religious experience itself, as it has done for political and social life.”
In other words, ultra-mod spiritual centers will be blessed by mass data extraction, algorithmic polarization, and censorship of theological “misinformation.”
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If Facebook’s history is any guide, every digital prayer will be scooped up and turned into a data point. Livestreamed preachers who deny the sanctity of LGBT lifestyles will be flagged and punished as “extremists.” Best of all, smartphone-addicted congregants can donate their last widow’s mite with the touch of a virtual button. Sounds like a little slice of heaven, doesn’t it?
Getting Saved in the Metaverse
The Church of Facebook is just one part of a much broader vision. Three days before the Times article appeared, The Verge published an in-depth interview with founder Mark Zuckerberg about his ambition to “bring the metaverse to life.” The term refers to the evolution of 24/7 screentime into a warped synthesis of physical reality, mixed reality, augmented reality, and virtual reality.
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According to Facebook’s chief operating officer, Sheryl Sandberg, it will also be a spiritual endeavor. “Faith organizations and social media are a natural fit because fundamentally both are about connection,” she told the Times. “Our hope is that one day people will host religious services in virtual reality spaces as well, or use augmented reality as an educational tool to teach their children the story of their faith.”
Imagine a synagogue where a holographic burning bush recites the Decalogue, or a cathedral where saint icons speak to you directly, or maybe animated deities waving their many arms in Hindu temples.
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Read the whole thing THERE
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Amazon Delivers Technocracy
Latest article: “Amazon: The World’s Most Efficient Misery Pit” — in Salvo
Big Tech giants form monopolies because they can. They can because their technologies really do work. So now what?
With its digital tentacles embracing the planet, Amazon hoovers up big data and spits out packages marked with a phallic smile logo. Not satisfied to kill off indie bookstores, the mega-corporation has also destroyed small retail businesses, pushed out local grocers, obliterated unions, implemented mass mechanization in the workplace, slipped Alexa eavesdropping technologies into a hundred million homes, and installed Ring cameras on a growing number of front doors.
When you can’t be bothered to go out into the world, Amazon will come to you. Even better, after watching your every move, chances are its AI systems know what products you want before you do. Convenience über alles!
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In a departure from their usual subservience to our robot overlords, The New York Times quoted an Amazon developer who says Bezos believes people are incurably lazy. “What he would say is that our nature as humans is to expend as little energy as possible to get what we want or need.” Having created a billion Amazon-addicted shut-ins hitting 1-Click Orders all day while watching the sky for delivery drones, Bezos should know.
This is a huge problem, but it’s not everybody’s problem. Amazon’s opponents run up against serious quandary: automation actually works. If implemented correctly, algorithms and robots are more precise, more efficient, and more easily controlled than human beings. Really, what’s not to love? As a ruler, I mean—not a subject.
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Read the whole thing THERE
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Mt. Rushmore is Rad
